It’s a new year again. And I love new beginnings. I always have goals and dreams for the future, and any type of clean slate makes me feel motivated to achieve them. However, in 2020 I started a self-improvement journey, including journalling and everything, that really excited me and gave me a strong sense of accomplishment that I haven’t been able to feel again.
It’s one of those things that really bugs me about life. You can never really have the same intense feelings as the very first time you felt them. And in the self-improvement area, this can be extra bugging and disappointing. Because the very thing that made you believe you can pretty much do anything is now missing, and this very same thing makes you feel like it’s your own fault.
It’s not like I don’t set or reach goals anymore. I still grow and learn everyday, both intentionally and ‘at random’. But there was something very satisfying in checking off to-do lists everyday, and have a moment of reflection at least once a week. I know how to do these things, and I could force myself to get back into the habit of it, but I’m simply not feeling it anymore. I don’t care for the lists, I don’t have energy for constant reflection – and yet I crave the rewarding feeling of it.
Which is weird, because I still set goals and reach them. I know I do – because I still check them off during the year, and reflect & plan at every end of the year. But somehow it doesn’t feel like it’s enough; I was able to see my progress (and feel good about myself!) almost daily when I was a lot more practical in my self-improvement journey. Somehow putting pen to paper and checking off things DAILY makes a huge difference in my mindset.
Maybe there is a way to get into it again, without being overwhelmed by endless moments of reflection, and the pressure to ‘do better’ every single day. Maybe there is a way to feel that sense of reward and accomplishment, without having to ‘manage’ and track your personal progress all the time.
Have you ever used a bullet journal, habit tracker or any type of journalling before? Did you lose motivation for it? Are there ‘easy on the self’ alternatives? I’d love to get your help.