‘And then let go’

Deep ✨

The more I learn about different spiritual theories, the more I realise that they all essentially say the same about the last phase of manifestation. From when I learned about The Energy of Attraction, to The Law of Attraction, to Psycho-Cybernetics and Dispenza or Oprah – an essential part of their teaching is about ‘letting go’ in order to get what you want.

You don’t have to struggle

What interests me about these theories is that they all argue that getting what you want, becoming who you truly are, or acquiring your dream life does not require struggle. We often learn that if we ‘work hard’ or ‘keep fighting’ we will be rewarded with what we dream of. Many parts of our society work like this: life is a race, and if you put in everything you have, no matter how hard or tiring it is – you will get there eventually.

This idea portraits life as a high mountain we have to climb in the burning sun or freezing snow, and we only can get to the top if we suffer and struggle. Moreover, we often believe that we deserve the top because of the struggle, implying that the one who suffers the most has the highest chance of reaching it.

However, these spiritual theories paint a different picture. Yes, you have to know what you want and really want it. Yes, you have to work for your dreams. Yes, you have to put in the effort. And yes, you have a huge say in how your life will play out. But there’s no need to struggle to get in line with your destiny. After the work is done, you have to let go.

Let’s take a look at the steps manifestation theories generally follow, with a special focus on the last (most interesting 😉 ) one.

1. Get clear

The first step in many theories is to be sure about what you want to manifest. This can be really big (a dream job) or quite small (a new bag). What really matters is that you are crystal clear on what it is that you want, and what this looks, feels, smells and tastes like.

Envision whatever it is that you want to manifest. Think about this often, stay clear on this vision, even if it changes over time. Visualise the details, the impact reaching this goal will have on your life and how you will change because of it. Also think about why you really want this certain thing, why is it important to you? This has to be a good reason (in your opinion).

2. Put in the work

Now, plan out what you can do to attract what you want into your life. Think of all the tiny changes you can make, and all the little steps you can take towards your goal. This can be improving who you are as a person (‘become the type of girl who has what you want’) or planning specific actions in your agenda.

Whatever it is you need to do, an essential part of manifestation is that you do what you can. You have to start the right motion, have to have the right mindset, perform the right actions, look into the right direction. This doesn’t mean you have to work towards your goals 24/7 or you have to work your butt off. You do what you can, but you do have to do it.

I truly believe that whatever is meant for you, will find you. But it is your job to be open to it and this often requires some work on your end. I truly believe the universe will work in your favour, but there’s no way attracting what you want if you aren’t doing what you can to actually attract. 😉

3. Trust the universe

Now, the next step sounds contradictory and irrelevant: trust your destiny and let go of all expectations. But if you know what you want, you work towards it and you’re waiting for the end results, why do you have to let go, and trust the universe? If things are working out for you, wouldn’t they do that even if you still care, even if you don’t let go, even if you don’t trust the universe?

Well, you would say so, but no. Letting go and trusting that whatever outcome follows, is what’s supposed to happen, is actually really important, and quite hard to do. Your attitude towards the outcome (after visualisation and putting in the work) is essential in reaching your goals. The ideal attitude is one of trust, calmness and neutrality. You know what you want, but your happiness is not dependant on getting it.

Why not care?

This attitude towards the outcome is so important, because we don’t always know what’s best for us. Sometimes, we get saved by NOT getting what we want. Manifesting, in that sense, is more about getting in line with your true destiny and becoming who you truly are, than getting the specific things we think we want.

Another reason is that we don’t always recognise the doors that lead us towards our goals as such. If we’re to focused on the outcome of our effort and we’re trying to watch our dreams come true, we don’t always take the chances that lead towards our dreams, because they look different than we expected.

Very often, we only realise that our dreams came true days, months or years after we actually did. Life works in mysterious ways. And this mystery is simultaneously the reason we don’t always see our doors opening, and the reason we don’t always know what our true destiny really looks like.

So: knowing what you want, working towards your goal, trusting the universe to give you what’s yours WHILE being happy no matter what happens is the ultimate sweet spot. It seems really difficult to let go of your expectations after figuring out exactly what you want and also putting in a lot of effort to get it, but really – once you truly trust that what is yours will find you, this gets a lot easier. 🙂

Let me know what you’re going to manifest next!

xx Coco

So I finally read Psycho-Cybernetics

Geen categorie

For 2021, one of my goals is to read more (I mean, whose isn’t, right?). I aim for one book a month, which for a non-reader like me, is quite a commitment. One book I heard a lot about in podcasts was Psycho-Cybernetics, which apparently is a self-help classic from the ‘80s. Somewhere in January, my fiancé suddenly ordered it online, and so the universe had spoken: PC would be my February-read.

For starters, I have to admit my expectations were a little bit high. Once you’ve been in this selfrealization jazz for a while, it’s hard to find a book that blows your mind. So as I should’ve expected, this book didn’t. It didn’t leave me with many new insights or bright ideas. What it did do, however, was back up my already existing insights with some good psychological theory, and some good ol’ common – although very christian – sense. Here’s what the book taught me.

Our subconscious is a torpedo

The first thing PC thought me was that the subconscious (brain + nervous system) works pretty similar to a torpedo. Human beings overall learn stuff by aiming for a goal, striving like a rocket towards it, and correcting our errors and deviations as we go. Think of a young (still quite not self-aware) child learning how to walk: they stand up and fall down, stand up again and fall down again – learning from the errors what not to do, and learning from the successes what to repeat.

PC teaches how we can apply this principle consciously to our goals as well, and in that way, use our subconscious to our (planned or pointed) benefit. For example, imagine our goal is to lose a few pounds. If we admit and set this goal for ourselves, according to PC, our subconscious will unknowingly work towards this goal without you putting in a lot of effort.

Of course, the conscious mind has a say as well, so some work has to be done. In the case of losing weight, we shouldn’t eat donuts all the time and maybe exercise a little. But if we can believe PC, the subconscious will help you with this and make it a lot easier to make certain (wise) decisions.

Our nature wants us to thrive

To be completely clear: we don’t have to make our subconscious work to our benefit, because it already does. Always. It’s how we learn or accomplish anything at all. But in the goals that we have that are not completely natural and instinctive (like learning how to walk), we do have to set our goals.

The design of human beings is so beautiful, our brain and nervous system (or subconscious) is supposed to make us thrive in life. It supports our goals and dreams, and by means of survival, always gravitates (or rockets) naturally towards them. Thus saying – and this is my own conclusion – life doesn’t have to be a struggle. It is actually in our nature to get what we want.

This is also backed up by other theories and movements (though in other words), for example by the Law of attraction theory or Deepak Chopra’s Energy of Attraction. PC, however, tends to explain this phenomenon by the use of cybernetics. And even though this book was written in the ’80s, that’s quite refreshing.

Self-image is everything

However, whether you learn from your fails or judge yourself by them, is essentially and up to you. Because you decide what thoughts and ideas your subconscious ‘rockets’ on. Your subconscious doesn’t have a direct link to reality, so you and your thoughts are what feeds the system and tells it what to aim for. So while setting our goals and aiming towards them, something inside us has to believe that we will reach our goals and that we are worthy of them.

If you only ever remember your fails and forget your past successes, you will think low of yourself, unknowingly set low goals, and that is what your subconscious will work towards. You’re brain tells the subconscious ‘I will never get it’, and thus that is what happens. If you think highly of yourself because you focus on your past successes, you will believe that the goal is something you can reach and deserve, and your subconscious will start to work accordingly.

So if you’re someone who thinks low of themselves, hear this: you’re not inherently born with a low self-esteem, you’re just using your memory wrongly. Train yourself to focus on your past successes, or fake the feeling of being successful if you have to, and your subconscious will start to work differently and to your benefit.

What I love about this book is that it reminded me of some strong beliefs I already had. It supports the idea that our brain has a big effect on our biology, and can even explain how, for example, we can make ourselves ill or look younger, simply have having certain thoughts. It explains why we have a higher chance of winning a game when we truly believe we will, and why ‘practising in your head’ makes an actual difference when doing the real job.

I’m a big fan of ‘woo woo’ theories like the Law of attraction, but it is nice to have these theories backed up from another angle of science. I personally relate many human issues to a low or inadequate self-image, so it was nice to read a theory that relates self-image to reaching our dreams. The book also comes with very practical exercises to train your self-image, and to make your subconscious work for whatever you set your mind to.

The only downside is that since the book is already quite old, some of the other (psychological) theories PC refers to, are a little outdated. I also didn’t appreciate the writer using religious arguments to back up his theory, or to tie his lose ends. But all-in-all, this is a very good book to remind ourselves of our beautiful design as human beings.

Did you read Psycho-Cybernetics? Let me know what you think!

xx Coco