Self-improvement fatigue

Deep ✨

It’s a new year again. And I love new beginnings. I always have goals and dreams for the future, and any type of clean slate makes me feel motivated to achieve them. However, in 2020 I started a self-improvement journey, including journalling and everything, that really excited me and gave me a strong sense of accomplishment that I haven’t been able to feel again.

It’s one of those things that really bugs me about life. You can never really have the same intense feelings as the very first time you felt them. And in the self-improvement area, this can be extra bugging and disappointing. Because the very thing that made you believe you can pretty much do anything is now missing, and this very same thing makes you feel like it’s your own fault.

It’s not like I don’t set or reach goals anymore. I still grow and learn everyday, both intentionally and ‘at random’. But there was something very satisfying in checking off to-do lists everyday, and have a moment of reflection at least once a week. I know how to do these things, and I could force myself to get back into the habit of it, but I’m simply not feeling it anymore. I don’t care for the lists, I don’t have energy for constant reflection – and yet I crave the rewarding feeling of it.

Which is weird, because I still set goals and reach them. I know I do – because I still check them off during the year, and reflect & plan at every end of the year. But somehow it doesn’t feel like it’s enough; I was able to see my progress (and feel good about myself!) almost daily when I was a lot more practical in my self-improvement journey. Somehow putting pen to paper and checking off things DAILY makes a huge difference in my mindset.

Maybe there is a way to get into it again, without being overwhelmed by endless moments of reflection, and the pressure to ‘do better’ every single day. Maybe there is a way to feel that sense of reward and accomplishment, without having to ‘manage’ and track your personal progress all the time.

Have you ever used a bullet journal, habit tracker or any type of journalling before? Did you lose motivation for it? Are there ‘easy on the self’ alternatives? I’d love to get your help.

xx Coco

We need to talk about privilege

Deep ✨

As you know, I am a big fan of manifestation methods and the law of attraction. I like books like Psycho-Cybernetics, and meditate on my goals daily. But one thing we need to remember is that manifesting doesn’t work for everyone, and this has nothing to do with putting in the work or skill. It has to do with the mere fact that many people don’t have the privileges to ‘just manifest’ a dream job, relationship or home. And we don’t talk about this enough.

‘I just made it happen’

I think this is because we like to think of manifesting as some kind of magic, or control. We love to be able to say that we just made it happen. We often feel like life is hard and we need to struggle to get what we want, so how great would it be if we can just think or meditate certain conditions into being?

I do often point out that certain effort must be put in as well, but overall I whole heartedly embrace the law of attraction and manifestation theories. You know why? Because they work for me.

Why manifesting works for me

But the reason they work for me is not only because I have a ‘go with the flow’ mentality, set and work on my goals daily, and slowly but surely master the art of meditation. The law of attraction also works for me because I am from a pretty wealthy family, I never have to worry about hunger or homelessness, I live in a country with hardly any problems and am born with pretty good looks and a smart-ish brain. Life is simply easier for me than for many, many other people.

And so I’m privileged enough to say ‘I want X, so I’m going to manifest X’. Because to me, it often is this simple. To a woman my age born in Africa, struggling to feed five children and dealing with a lot of disaster and poverty, it is not that simple. She can’t ‘just manifest’ a safe home, healthy children and plenty of food one the table. No matter how hard she works, wishes and meditates.

I am lucky

It makes me think of a comment someone posted as a reaction to a famous inventor of a meditation app. It said something like: ‘Of course this works for you and you are happy, you have everything going for you and nothing to worry about. It would be weird if you weren’t happy.’

The inventor interpreted this as an accusation of not being self made, and replied that she never used her parents money to get where she is, that she used to work 3 jobs to pay her rent, and that she build her whole life and business herself.

And of course, this is all true. But I think the point of the comment was to nuance how unlikely the chances are that everyone can benefit from her meditations the way she does. She is her own biggest example of how far these meditations (and of course some necessary work) can bring you in life, but she seems completely blind to how privileged and comfortable you have to be to begin with in order to truly change your life for the better. Because no, her parents aren’t super rich and never gave her money, but she does seem to have had a pretty good basis for life to build on.

Who has time to manifest?

This is probably also why Plato said that many people only start their interest in philosophy and larger life questions from the age of 50. Looking at Maslow’s pyramid – who really has the time and space (and energy) to think about self-development, manifestation, and life in general?

Right: the person who has their most basic needs met. Someone who has the time and money to spend on not much else but their own personal dreams. And who probably also has the brain to comprehend these things and can take a risk because they have the social network to fall back on when things go wrong. Which (surprise!) are indeed people like the app inventor and myself.

What I’m trying to say is: don’t pride yourself or ‘magic’ too much when it comes to how much you are able to meditate, manifest and reach your goals. The truth is that you actually need a lot of privilege, good circumstances and mere luck to be able to ‘just manifest’ something. And not everyone, unfortunately, is in this position. So let’s stop the toxic spirituality and let’s stop telling people that they are completely in charge of their own life and happiness. Life is not that simple.

xx Coco

New year, new goals

Deep ✨, Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

The year of 2022 has finally come. I’m a big fan of reflecting on the past year, and setting goals for the new one. I do it every year, and every year I’m surprised by how many of my goals I actually reach. What are my goals for 2022? I always set many (I actually have 16 this year), so I’ll tell you about the most important ones.

Going on solo (day)trips

I’m a very social person and I like to experience life with my friends, family and husband. But I’m also an only child, a scorpio and a very spiritual being – so I need my quiet time. Exploring new places or going into nature by myself is something I really enjoy, but don’t do too often.

It always humbles and excites me at the same time, so in 2022, I’m planning on doing more trips my myself. Even if it’s just for a day.

Dry January

My relationship with alcohol has always been a difficult one. I wouldn’t say my usage is problematic, but I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with it, and therefore find it hard to find that sweet spot or balance.

Last year, I tried dry January for the first time and I loved it. It was a very spiritual and powerful month for me, that I extended to six weeks. I learned a lot about myself and felt a lot healthier afterwards, so I’m looking forwards to the same benefits this year.

Reading at least six books

I know reading six books in a year doesn’t seem like a lot to some people. I’ve heard people say they wanted to read 20 or even 50 books this year. But I am not much of a reader, I don’t find it relaxing and I have not yet found the genre that I really love.

So my goal for 2022 is to at least read one book every two months. And even though this sounds doable, I know I will still have to try hard and commit as reading is not in my system yet. For Christmas, I got a Kindle so hopefully this helps me with my goal. If you have any tips on how to make reading more easy, let me know! 🙂

Making money online

I am quite hesitant to share this goal with you, as it seems like such a big goal and kind of ‘out there’ to me. Since I started this blog last year, I’ve been wanting to extent my entrepreneurial goals and actually make some money from online projects. As I want to keep this blog as pure and real as I can, I’m not actively striving to make money of off this blog.

I am, however, planning on two different projects for 2022. One has to do with meditation, and one has to do with making videos. But as Anna Bey taught me not to overshare before success, I’m going to say any more on this topic other than: stay tuned!

What are some of your goals for 2022? I’m curious to know. 🙂

xx Coco

My favorite ‘poem’

Deep ✨

Only the passion that touches its abyss can light the tinder of your utmost truth.
Only to him who loses his whole self will self be given.
For only by catching fire will you learn to know the world deep inside you.
Only where mystery works does life begin.

A while ago, I heard this poem in the movie A Promise. The rest of the movie, I haven’t remembered and didn’t bother me at all. But this poem somehow stuck with me, and I have felt the need to share it multiple times since.

In the movie, it is read to an audience by a pastor (or something) in a church. I assume it’s supposed to be Christian, or at least religious. And yes, I do read God somewhere in there. But more so, it is an exceptional metaphor of life to me.

These lines somehow contain the real depth of life to me. They explain how I experience the mere fact of living, but also the secret to why this living is worthwhile and meaningful. There’s an essential paradox in every single one of these lines, that each explain an essential lesson. The messages are very similar but have subtle nuances, which makes it hard for me to pick a favorite. I’ll try to explain line by line:

My interpretation

Only the passion that touches its abyss can light the tinder of your utmost truth.
My translation: Only when you see the end and darkness of every joy, you can see real truths.

Only to him who loses his whole self will self be given.
My translation: Only when you completely give up your ego and surrender to a higher purpose, will you know who you really are.

For only by catching fire will you learn to know the world deep inside you.
My translation: Only when you’ve been through hardship and have surrendered to pain and chaos, will you know what you truly have to offer (to yourself and the world).

Only where mystery works does life begin.
My translation: Only when you accept that there are many things you will never know, and you surrender these things to a higher power, can you really live the way you’re supposed to.

I don’t know if I interpret these lines the way they were intended, and I don’t know if that really matters. I recently received a poetry collection by Rumi, and I was told that many of his poems are actually mistranslated. When I told my friend about this, she rightly said: ‘Who cares? I think Rumi would be very happy with any mistranslation that helps you or makes you feel good.’ And I think that makes sense.

Links with other authors

The lines from A Promise remind me of Meister Eckhart’s interpretation of Gelassenheit. He says that only when you’ve completely emptied yourself of any hope, identity, longing, expectation and ideas, you can receive and love God.

This idea reminds me of meditation in general, but especially the words of dr. Joe Dispenza, who says that you have to become ‘no one, no thing, no where and in no time’ in order to ‘unfold as pure consciousness into the unified field’. And I know this sounds kinda woo woo, but maybe this experience could be what Meister Eckhart meant by receiving God. And what I mean by all the processes described above.

Just something to think about. Thanks for reading!

xx Coco

The only way out is in

Deep ✨

A few days ago I posted a quote on my Instagram saying: ‘The only way out is in’, and how this was true for many situations. Today I will explain you what I mean by these words.

Happiness isn’t external

Spreading this word is kind of my life-mission. I really believe that happiness can only be found inside of yourself, and cannot be provided by anything or anyone external.

Of course, there are people and material things that can bring you joy, comfort, safety or health that can add to your happiness. And they can provide you with a higher or deeper level of happiness, as opposed to what you can bring yourself.

Think of meaningful relationships or valuable insights that you simply can’t manifest all by yourself.

But at the bottom of this all needs to be an established sense of happiness that can only be found and manifested by ourselves. A kind of happiness that is independent of any external factors, and that cannot be shook by time and space.

This kind of happiness is hard to find (in the conceptual and spiritual sense), but once found cannot be lost. If you’re still searching, I advise you to start a journey of self love (from worthiness, not ego) and spirituality.

Escaping reality

And it is worth finding this happiness. Because a few months ago, I realised that once you have found inner happiness (in life) and peace (through meditation and the like), there is really nothing that can be taken from you to make you unhappy.

In that sense, whatever in your life is compromised, you can always escape your situation. There is always a way out, by going in. And then there is actually a lot that can be taken from you, without your happiness being compromised.

And of course, there is an exception for situations in which you are suffering so badly that there is no internal consolation. In some situations, you actually have to practically get out in order to be released from them.

But I would argue that in most cases, the actual confinement (and thus freedom) is internal. I hope you know the story about the man in prison who was truly unhappy for being locked-up, until he read a spiritual book of some sorts (I don’t remember the guru) and his whole mind opened up. From that moment, he had a way to happiness and freedom, even within just a few square meters.

This is an extreme example, but it can inspire us to trust that our internal happiness can be something sacred and eternal. Self-reliant. Independent of what our actual daily life looks like.

The only way is through AND inward

Even when it comes to trauma, (mental) health issues or more practical life problems – in order to fix the situation, you have to deal with it. In modern times, we are very used to ‘quick fixes’ through medicine, delegation or distraction.

However, not dealing with a problem only makes it bigger, or at least stick around. Nothing ever goes away until it teaches us what we need to know. This can either be a very conscious (sad feelings, stress) or subconscious (long term health issues) case. Long story short: the only real way is through.

And I have an even more radical, and more spiritual view on dealing with problems. Because working through a problem is not always sufficient in living a happy and healthy life. Sometimes, a situation also requires us to work on ourselves, or in other words: go in.

Remember my blog on the three different worlds? Especially when your problem exists not only in the real world (1) but also in the emotional (2) and conceptual (3) world, going in to deal with a problem can be a real life changer. So do the shadow work. Deal with your soul as well as your body and mind.

If you wonder how, I invite you again to start your own self love + spiritual journey by reading my blogs (or do a simple Google-search 😉 )

xx Coco

The only goal is to live

Deep ✨

In life, I have often felt the pressure to be successful, have a lot of fun, and be really happy all at the same time. I think secularism and individualism has put even more emphasis on the idea that we only have one life, and it is completely up to ourselves to make it worthwhile. Social media and the constant (dis)approval of our life from others put on some extra pressure. But what, really, is our true task, goal or assignment in life?

The meaning of life

First of all, when it comes to the meaning of life, this is for each and everyone of us to decide for ourselves. Of course, if you are religious or an idealist, there are some collective meanings of life that we can come up with for the human race. This might be to leave the planet better than we found it, or to pursue happiness, or to obey God. But when it comes to the meaning of my life, or your life, the meaning or goal of a life might differ.

Because my values aren’t your values, and what makes me happy and fulfilled – i.e. what makes my life worth living – might not do the same for you. So when you ask yourself the questions ‘why am I alive?’, ‘what is the meaning of my life?’ or ‘what is the goal of my life?’ it is completely up to you to find a satisfying answer. And that answer is never wrong.

The only natural assignment

But there’s another way to look at what we have come to do, as a human being on this planet. Or to look at our assignment in this thing we call life. Because we can strip away all authorities. What if when we look at the individual life, we don’t look towards other humans, it’s place within mankind, or religious NOR spiritual authorities? What if we even don’t see ourselves as an authority to decide our goal or assignment in life? Then we are left with merely the reality of life itself.

And some answers can still be found there. Because when we look at nature, the only assignment we have ever gotten was just to live. To be alive. Simply by the fact that we have come into this life, and that in this moment we are still alive. This actually matches with the inherent will to live and survive, that can be observed in every living creature.

However, nature never put any pressure on you to be successful, or to be super social, or to have a lot of fun. Nature doesn’t even really care if you’re happy along the way. Biologically speaking, your only assignment is simply to live. And what you want to do with that life, or if you want to have fun being alive, or how (and if!) you want to add meaning to it, is completely up to you.

The duty to live

I know what you’re thinking – you never even chose to be alive (your parents decided that for you), so how can the only true the assignment be to live? But this is already begging the question. By the point we ask these type of questions, we added ourselves as an authority again. And luckily, by that logic, we can also look at religious, social or spiritual arguments again.

Because in my belief, you actually did some time ago choose to be alive and come to planet earth. But even if this is not your belief, you can argue that you have some social duties for staying alive simply because we are human beings, and therefore social creatures who depend on each other. You can imagine there are many, many religious and spiritual arguments for believing you have a duty to (be thankful to) live, but I do not have the time nor enough blogging pages to get into that today.

For now, meditate for a while on the fact that your only natural assignment in life is just to live. In a world where we are constantly trying to prove that our lives are beautiful, fun and successful, this can be very liberating.

xx Coco

The self care nobody talks about

Deep ✨, Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

The concept of self care is so hot right now. Everybody does it – everywhere you go. Don’t get me wrong, I think this is SO important. But self care almost seems the new religion everyone has just adopted. And while I love talking about the spiritual side of self care (just wait for that blogpost ;)) there is a side of self care nobody seems to talk about. Because it’s dark. Or hard. And not as convenient and comfortable as ‘self care’ might sound. But I’m a scorpio, so dark and uncomfortable attracts me. Let’s dive into this.

What we like to view as ‘self care’

Usually, when we talk about self care, we often actually mean self maintenance. Painting your nails, shaving your body, or getting your hair done can feel like self care, but they do not actually make us better human beings. Or make us feel better on the long run.

We might indirectly feel better on the inside because of what we do on the outside. Maybe we feel more worthy because we take good care of ourselves, and in that way we ‘care’ for our ‘self’. But other than that, making sure your outward appearance looks good is not the same as caring for your character, your mind or your soul.

And yes, there is a deeper and traditional concept of self care that we also talk about very often. Investing in your development, reading books or meditation also count as self care. Making sure you are okay, making sure you feel good about yourself, and feeding your self-image with positive mental states is self care. But there’s the catch.

What ‘self care’ also is

In order to take real care of yourself and your happiness, and in order to really get what you deserve, you sometimes have to be really hard and difficult for yourself. Sometimes, you have to grab life by the balls, and force yourself to do something you really hate, or that really hurts, in order to take care of yourself in the long run.

And no, this isn’t as fun or convenient as taking a bath or reading a book. It doesn’t instantly make you feel better, and it doesn’t sound like something we want to call ‘self care’ at all. But it is. Self care can be really hard, dark and ugly.

So it’s time we get used to taking care of ourselves in these ways too. Real happiness, real self worth and real fulfilment require a little more effort than the traditional, easy sense of ‘self care’. Because the things that make us feel unhappy, unworthy and unfulfilled are serious problems, which require serious measures.

You need to hear this

So, don’t shoot the messenger, but sometimes self care is not going back to your toxic ex-boyfriend, even though you love him. Self care is telling your friends that you can’t hangout tonight because you need time to work through your darkness or loneliness right now.

It is NOT wasting a lot of money on shopping, drinking or getting your hair done to suppress your emotions, but actually dealing with them – ESPECIALLY when it hurts. It is eating healthy and reasonably, even though ‘you really love food’. Self care is quitting your victim-mentality, and being hard on yourself just so you can pick yourself up because, well: nobody else can do it.

Self care is facing rejection, pain and hardship. Because dealing with it and being happy in the long run is what a person who cares for herself would do. Running away and staying in your dark hole because it’s easier in the moment, is what the girl who doesn’t love herself would do (because she believes she doesn’t deserve to be happy in the long run).

And yes, forcing yourself to work towards being the girl who loves herself and moves on, instead of the girl who hates herself and gets stuck – you guessed it – also counts as self care. Let’s get it into our system.

Let me know what you think! What types of self care do you practice? And would you like a worksheet with this blog?

xx Coco

How to manage many things at once

Deep ✨, Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

Just like many other young women, I live a very busy life. I juggle multiple jobs, hobbies and relationships at once, and I do that purposely – not because I have to. I have many passions and love being social, but also want time on my own. In this way, I’m actually trying to live multiple lives. Luckily, I’m the type of person who believes you actually CAN have it all, IF you apply the following life-hacks.

What my life looks like (skip if not interested)

To give you an idea: I have a full-time job, in which I manage more projects than is possible in 40 hours, and in which I am also part of two committees that don’t overlap with my own work. I volunteer for an online philosophy magazine and run this blog & the Coco Instagram. I have more than a few friends that I see regularly, visit my parents often and I am planning a wedding with the love of my life who also gets a lot of my free-time (of course). On top of that, I meditate, read, journal, walk, stretch and listen to a podcast every day. In between the gaps, I do laundry, groceries, take care of our hamster (:)) and do other things in the house.

Yes, sometimes I do feel overwhelmed. But most of the time I am very happy and fulfilled. Here’s why and how this works for me.

Please note: I’m NOT saying you should be able to do as many things as I do. Mental and physical health is very important and also very personal! Please be aware of how much YOU can do while applying these tips.

Prioritise

The first thing is something I talk about a lot: setting priorities. This requires some reflection on what you really want and find important. You have to get clear on what you want in life, what and who you want to spend your valuable time on, and here we see another essential part: you have start seeing your time as valuable.

Once you see your time as something you can only spend once, and as something you want to spend on what you find useful, important and fulfilling, you can get clear on your priorities. Decide which parts of your life are essential for you, and which parts are only nice-to-haves. Do the same thing with the people in your life: who really adds to your happiness, and who are you holding on to for the wrong reasons?

If something or someone is not a priority, this doesn’t mean you have to delete them from your life completely (although, I do recommend this for the parts that really don’t add anything to your happiness). You can simply be more conscious on how much time you spend on them. It really all comes down to aligning the way you spend your time with your true values.

Delegate

I already wrote a full blog on how to delegate. Delegation comes in really handy for the parts of your life that you have just decided (in the previous paragraph) are not important to you, but also not easy to remove. Think of tasks you don’t like doing, even though you see how the result of doing them adds value to your life. These parts, you can delegate.

For example, I personally delegate cleaning and cooking for the most part. I do find a clean house and eating healthy food important, but I don’t like spending my own time on these things. I don’t enjoy cleaning and cooking, so I delegate it. Of course, I realise that you need the financial means to be able to delegate these, or have a really sweet partner you can ask to do it. 😉

If you don’t have these options, try spending as little time as possible on these things. You can learn optimising the way in which you do these ‘important, yet not worth your time’-things in the next paragraph.

Optimisation

The first way to optimise tasks you don’t like doing, is by creating order (in doing that specific task). This literally means you have a method of doing it, which you use every single time. Creating order saves you time because you know what to do in advance, and you know the method by which you are going to do it. So you don’t have to think of the ‘how’ every single time. Learn more on creating order in this blog.

Another way to optimise is doing things in bulk. Do you have many shops to visit, people to see, e-mails to answer or lunches to prepare? Set one timeframe to do all the things in the same category at once. Since it takes some time to travel, set appointments, get into your focus or prepare the task, it saves time doing many of the same things at one specific moment.

The last way to optimise is to simply learn from others. For example, there are many video’s on Youtube on how to do simple daily tasks more efficiently. Watching these once will save you time in the future. 🙂

Stay healthy

Managing many passions and people at once does not only take a lot of time, but also a lot of energy. I find that when I stay in good shape and eat healthy, I can do a lot more in a day and with more energy and focus.

Of course, I don’t have to tell you how to work out regularly and eat healthy. So instead, I will tell you the less obvious ways in which I stay healthy (on top of moving my body and eating healthy food):

I use Athletic Greens every morning to make sure I have all the vitamins I need. It also makes me feel like my brain is on fire all day, so that’s a big plus!
I have a very regular sleep-pattern to make sure I sleep enough hours. I go to bed around 10, and wake up around 6 or 7. In the weekend, the difference is usually only an hour later (because I fall asleep if I stay up longer anyway, and I want to bounce back easily on Monday).
I try to notice when my stress levels are high (adrenaline rush, heartbeat, negative emotions), and try to snap out of it. Meditating regularly and having my priorities straight, helps to do the breathwork or put things into perspective in these moments (see the next paragraph).
I limit my alcohol intake to 1 evening a week, and not a wild one ;). I limit my caffeine intake to max. 2 cups of coffee a day. And to compensate these habits, I drink at least 3 liters of herbal tea or water a day.
I eat intuitively. When I’m not hungry in the morning, I don’t eat breakfast. When I’m full, I stop eating. When I crave pizza, I eat pizza. This gives my body some rest on the right moments, and keeps my mind & body from putting energy into unnecessary cravings (or bloating).

Selfcare & meditation

I already mentioned that I meditate, read, walk, stretch and listen to a podcast everyday. While this sometimes feels like a burden, most of the time it helps me stay on track and juggle many things at once. Taking good care of your mind as well as your body enables you to do all the things you want, and to do them better and more focused.

I also take baths regularly, watch a lot of mindless shows while painting my nails (it’s called selfcare baby ;)) and take breaks from work/family/friends when, or actually right before, I really need to. Meditation is a way to slip out of reality when you don’t have a lot of time. There are even 5 minute meditations that can make you feel rejuvenated in between work or in a (parked!) car. Take that time when you feel like it.

If you do more, you can do more

As you may have noticed by now, I often like to end these lists with a hack you don’t actually have to do anything for. It’s more of an insight that you can use to your advantage. This time, I’m talking about the fact that when you do more, you actually get more done.

When you have full agenda, you somehow manage to do many things in a really short amount of time – simply because you don’t have more time. Think about writing a document: if you have all day, it will probably take you all day. You procrastinate, are very critical, think it over many times. But if you only have half an hour, you simply have no time to be lazy, critical or thoughtful. It just has to be done, so somehow you manage to do it in half an hour.

If you live life like this (almost) every day, you will see that you get more done, simply because you’re agenda is fuller. Tasks that you thought were a lot of work before, are now tasks you can squeeze in between the others. I’m not saying having a full agenda is always a good idea, but it is worth noticing (and praising!) how much you can actually do in a day.

Let me know if these hacks help you ‘have it all’, and what you do to manage many things at once!

xx Coco

Tips for waking up early (and why you should)

Geen categorie, Lifestyle 🏃🏼‍♀️

To be completely transparent with you; I have never been an early bird. In fact, I always described myself as ‘an evening-person’. I never liked the mornings but loved the evenings. I was at my (creative) best after 10 pm, and never woke up before 8 am unless I really, really had to. My evenings were a last-minute party to celebrate that ‘it isn’t tomorrow yet’. My mornings were a struggle because I ‘had to wake up just to go and work all day’. And I always accepted that this was just my way of living. Until I tried something else.

Why I wanted a morning routine

The transformation of my mornings started with my general hate of working. Don’t get me wrong, I probably have the best job ever, but since I was very young I have felt it as an absolute unfair mistake that society somehow decided that everyone has to work all day for five days a week. It just doesn’t make sense to me. So, every job I’ve had felt like I had to do it, I simply didn’t have a choice, and that makes even the most fun thing to do always feel just like any other job. And since I didn’t want to quit my job (because there is no better job for me out there), I decided to change the way to look at it, from the moment I get out of bed.

I decided to wake up, do something for myself first, and then later on start my work just like ‘one of the many things I do in a day’. I decided to see work as a part of my day, not my whole purpose for waking up every morning. I had to make myself believe that there was something else – something more fun and more important I had to do first, before getting to work. And so, I invented myself a little morning routine.

First, I decided I wanted to stretch and move my body a little bit, just to feel more fit and healthy in the morning. A few days later, I decided to add a meditation to it for a good mood, and a little reading for some intellectual stimuli. Later, I found that I also wanted to clean my house for a few minutes, just so I would start my day more clear and organised.

then, I decided to add a podcast to my cleaning (because it’s more fun and hits two birds with one stone), and I found out that I really enjoy a short walk before I sit down behind my desk. All in all – my morning activities were stacking up, but my mornings did become a lot more fun than waking up cranky, rushing to get ready, and dreading to start working. And most importantly: they became an investment in myself, not my job, my relationship or my social life, but in me.

The pro’s

As bonus, I found out that having some time to spend on myself in the mornings also made the rest of my day a lot easier, more fun and more productive. The only downside is probably that I have to go to bed quite early to be able to get up at 6 am the next morning.

But honestly, I even like that part of it now: my evenings became a lot more relaxed since I am more productive during the day. Today, I would say that having a nice morning route is the biggest reason I stay on track in reaching my goals, and manifesting the dream life I want.

So, how do I (as an ‘evening-person’) manage to wake up every day at 6 am?

Here are my tips:

Lay out your clothes for the next day. This makes getting out of bed and getting ready less of a hurdle. It lowers that bar of unpleasant things you have to do once you get up!
Make sure you love the things you do in the morning. If you don’t like reading or meditation, please don’t do it! Do something that suits you and gets you in a good mood. It is totally fine if this includes activities that aren’t as productive or goal-oriented.
At first, set your alarm clock a little earlier each day. You can take some time getting used to these early mornings. Then, set your alarm at the same time every day, and go to bed around the same time every evening.
Enjoy the quiet moments where you feel like the world is still asleep, cannot bother you yet, and the head start you get by waking up early. Also take some time to enjoy the sunrise – a little present just for you!
Play some music, light a candle, make yourself a fancy cup of tea or coffee. Set the right mood to start your day and enjoy the vibe. This can also make you more excited to get out of bed.
Don’t give up if it takes time getting used to, or if you fall off track. You are totally allowed to sleep in now and then, just pick right back up when you’re ready.

Good luck transforming your morning!

xx Coco