Lately, I have been dealing with a lot of feelings of doubt, incompetence, and failure about this blog and the Coco-Instagram. I’ve been comparing myself with more successful bloggers, creators, and guides. I saw every stagnation in my follower-count, every person in the field with more ‘fans’, as proof that I’m not doing as well as I should and have wished for. So something needed to change.

Of course, my initial way to change was to tell myself I just had to try harder, learn new skills, or put in more time and effort. If I’m not doing as well as other bloggers, there must be something they are doing that I’m not paying attention to. But then I dove a little deeper, did some soul-searching, and learned about the ‘growing-curve’ of the average blogger.

I learned that most of my ‘failing’ was just misplaced self-criticism. I learned that the average blogger takes about 3 years to build a loyal following. I learned that I was being irrational and too hard on myself, and that overall, I was doing a really good job for someone who is new to the field. Here are the insights that took me there.

If it was easy, anyone would do it

After starting this blog, I soon realised that the internet was not this place where you do your trick, and suddenly everyone is there to cheer you on and buy your products. It takes a lot of time and effort to find the people who see and need the added value that you’re offering.

And it takes even more time and effort to prove to them that your content and products are worth their investment. Realising this is hard and definitely not ‘fun’, but building your dream and adding value to the life of others simply doesn’t come easy. Just by trying, you are already doing more than many others.

I don’t have to be super successful right away

Sometimes, I forget why I wanted to start this blog anyway. I wanted to do what I love: writing and teaching people what I have found to be very helpful in my life. That’s it. I never needed it to be super successful right away, and I never thought it would only be fun to blog if many people read it.

Even if one person reads my blog – that’s enough and that’s already worth it. I just have to stay true to doing what I love, and don’t see it as ‘a job’ that I can fail at. Instead, I want this to be my hobby: an outlet, something fun.

I’m already making a difference

When we look at the purpose of this blog – teaching others what has helped me – there is no such thing as ‘failing’ or ‘being unsuccessful’ as long as I have readers or followers at all. And I do! I am so grateful for the handful of people who read every single blog I post.

I am so grateful for all the kind followers on Instagram, who like and comment to my posts. Going off of some of the reactions I’ve had so far (someone even said that this blog is what the prayed for!), I’m already making a difference in some lives. And that’s the greatest thing I could ever ask for, no matter how fast the platform grows.

Statistics are killing

One reason I am so focused on this growth, is because I check the statistics on my blog and Instagram almost daily. And while this is very helpful to know what my readers and followers are into (because I want that to lead the future content), it is also very discouraging, just by the way that the numbers are framed. Even when my follower count this week is only 4% lower than last week, the numbers are in red. Even when some pages are visited 200 times, next to the one that is visited 500 times, that’s a bummer.

And I need to keep reminding myself that this is the internet’s way of keeping us focused on the wrong things, essentially. Who said I want to grow all the time? Who said it’s a bad thing to not have many new followers today? When I started this blog, my goal was to inspire and help other women. NOT to grow my Instagram and blog as fast as I can! That’s the goal of the statistics (because they want me to be online as much as possible), not mine.

So, when I realised these things, I decided to do an assignment by Dr. Joe Dispenza. The trick is to write down every thought or behaviour that keeps you down, or makes you get stuck. Then, write down which thoughts or behaviour you’re going to replace them with, to ‘reprogram’ your mind, so to speak. Now, I won’t bore you with every single thing I wrote down, but I will say that the main thought is to stay true to myself, stop comparing with others and not get lost in lies about failure any longer.

Do you recognise these patterns of talking yourself down? How do you usually fix this way of thinking? Please let me know!

xx Coco