This morning I learned that sometimes, selfcare is letting go of all your routines and goals for the day. I woke up at 6 am, after having a week of little sleep and lots of work. I had been hard on myself all from monday through friday, kept waking up early, telling myself to ‘just push through’. So this morning I did my make up, started my morning routine, but when I opened my book to read – I broke.

Breaking point

I had what you would simply call ‘a bad day’. I didn’t have enough sleep, lost a few followers on Instagram, gained a little weight, just started having my period, and somehow my mourning routine took a lot of time and effort. While I realise these are all minor things on a good day, this morning I just couldn’t handle it anymore.

I had worked so hard towards my goals, and now I felt that no matter how hard I ‘pushed through’, I was failing them all. I felt like just wasn’t good at anything I tried, like I was a complete failure. I felt like this was proof that I was trying to do something that just wasn’t for me. But then I realised that what I wanted was a lot and that I was being very hard on myself. I was juggling many new goals and dreams, and wanted to be perfect at them all.

So after crying and hating myself for a few good minutes, I decided to be easy on myself today. I removed my make up again, made myself a tea and a hot compress for my belly, and went back to bed. When I was all warm and cozy again, I made a list in my head of all the things I was actually doing really well.

Nothing in nature blooms all year

I praised myself for waking up all week at 6 am, even though I didn’t get enough sleep any of those nights. I praised myself for staying on track with my blogs and Instagram posts, and for the fact that I gained 600 followers just one week after starting my page. I praised myself for not having one drink in 1,5 months, and having kept up with my reading, stretching, walking, meditating and journalling since the beginning of the year. I also kept the promise to myself to not buy any cheap/unethical clothing and to eat more healthy and plantbased. And most of all, I praised myself for starting my dream: this website!

So picked myself up, got out of bed and tried to rock the day again! No, just kidding. I didn’t. I stayed in my pyjamas all day and moved important tasks to next week. There. Nothing in nature blooms all year. And some days, it’s important to take these words seriously. Some days are for staying in bed, and loving yourself for how far you’ve come. For realising that bad days aren’t ‘failing’ or ‘a set-back’, but actually very important to keep your sanity and get new insights.

Sometimes, you need to realise that no one is perfect (and no, perfectionism is NOT a good character trait), so don’t try to win a race you never wanted to be in anyway. You can’t give 100% all the time, and your growth and transformation isn’t linear. And that despite all these things, you are doing a really, really good job at life. Enjoy it!

xx Coco